Originally posted on Facebook, November 23, 2010
Dear Ones,
This has been an extremely trying year for me, one which saw me lose not only my beloved Heather but also, about two weeks after Heather entered the hospital, my dear sister-in-law Madelaine, who died suddenly and unexpectedly. I've been wondering as Thanksgiving approaches, what do I have to be thankful for this year? First, of course, I'm thankful to have had the opportunity to know Heather & Madelaine, and to be privileged to carry pieces of them through memory and by putting into practice the things I learned from them. But I am also thankful to have you in my life--you the hundreds of people who gave so much help over the past two and a half years, and who continue to do so.
When Heather lived in Pittsburgh she noticed that people said THANKSgiving instead of ThanksGIVING, as we in the New York area say. This year I'd like to follow the Steel City's lead and put the emphasis squarely on the "Thanks." So thank you, those who gave your time to talk to me, who responded to these emails with many or few words (I read every single email and some of them I read to Heather, but I wasn't always able to personally respond), thanks those of you who quietly kept us in your thoughts, who gave money which allowed me to spend my time with Heather--which was so important to both of us, thanks for going food shopping for us, for cooking us meals, for walking our dog, for boarding our dog for FOUR MONTHS, for walking my clients' dogs for six months and keeping my business intact for my return, thanks for moving my car, for coming to take care of Heather when I needed to be in Brooklyn, thanks for playing music for Heather, thanks for visiting, and for those many of you who didn't get to visit--thanks for understanding that Heather couldn't have very many visitors--I know you really wanted to see her, but she just didn't have much energy for that, thanks for making phone calls, for doing research, for saying prayers, for keeping Heather in your meditations, for doing rituals for Heather, for telling your friends about Heather, for putting her name in a wide variety of healing circles, for throwing a fundraising party for us--TWICE, for drawing a picture for Heather, for giving her a book or DVD, thanks for cutting her hair in the hospital, for giving her so many Jin Shin Jyutsu sessions--daily at times, amazing, thanks for the Reiki sessions too, thanks for speeding through her prescription for oxycodone when you just happened to be at the pharmacy that day, for setting up a wireless connection allowing Heather to watch Netflix instant plays & youtube in her final weeks, thanks for the beautiful flowers in our window--it gave her great comfort & joy to awake to such a beautiful sight, for giving Heather photographs of nature which we spread about her room, thanks for the wonderful concert outside Heather's window, she so appreciated it, thanks for helping get Heather to the Botanic Gardens when she came home for hospice, thanks for coming to the funeral service in New Jersey and the Memorial in Brooklyn, thanks for speaking at theses two events, and thanks to those who wanted to speak but didn't & for those who sent me what you would have said, thanks for completing Heather's faerie art project for her, thanks for having a social visit with me away from the hospital, thanks for the whimsical postcards from Maine--Heather got a kick out of them, thanks for your wonderful cards & letters, thanks for telling me how Heather inspired and continues to inspire you. Special thanks to Heather's sisters Holly, Andrea and Lizzy, and her brother-in-law Jason, who gave so much time & love caring for Heather for which both Heather & I were and are extremely grateful--I really can't imagine having to go through this experience without you all--I'd call & you'd be there. And sometimes you'd just be there without my calling at all, right when I needed you. Thanks to everyone for anything and everything you did for us, whether I knew about it or not, whether I've mentioned it here or not, and thanks for being such an amazing circle of friendship and love.
Happy Thanksgiving.
This has been an extremely trying year for me, one which saw me lose not only my beloved Heather but also, about two weeks after Heather entered the hospital, my dear sister-in-law Madelaine, who died suddenly and unexpectedly. I've been wondering as Thanksgiving approaches, what do I have to be thankful for this year? First, of course, I'm thankful to have had the opportunity to know Heather & Madelaine, and to be privileged to carry pieces of them through memory and by putting into practice the things I learned from them. But I am also thankful to have you in my life--you the hundreds of people who gave so much help over the past two and a half years, and who continue to do so.
When Heather lived in Pittsburgh she noticed that people said THANKSgiving instead of ThanksGIVING, as we in the New York area say. This year I'd like to follow the Steel City's lead and put the emphasis squarely on the "Thanks." So thank you, those who gave your time to talk to me, who responded to these emails with many or few words (I read every single email and some of them I read to Heather, but I wasn't always able to personally respond), thanks those of you who quietly kept us in your thoughts, who gave money which allowed me to spend my time with Heather--which was so important to both of us, thanks for going food shopping for us, for cooking us meals, for walking our dog, for boarding our dog for FOUR MONTHS, for walking my clients' dogs for six months and keeping my business intact for my return, thanks for moving my car, for coming to take care of Heather when I needed to be in Brooklyn, thanks for playing music for Heather, thanks for visiting, and for those many of you who didn't get to visit--thanks for understanding that Heather couldn't have very many visitors--I know you really wanted to see her, but she just didn't have much energy for that, thanks for making phone calls, for doing research, for saying prayers, for keeping Heather in your meditations, for doing rituals for Heather, for telling your friends about Heather, for putting her name in a wide variety of healing circles, for throwing a fundraising party for us--TWICE, for drawing a picture for Heather, for giving her a book or DVD, thanks for cutting her hair in the hospital, for giving her so many Jin Shin Jyutsu sessions--daily at times, amazing, thanks for the Reiki sessions too, thanks for speeding through her prescription for oxycodone when you just happened to be at the pharmacy that day, for setting up a wireless connection allowing Heather to watch Netflix instant plays & youtube in her final weeks, thanks for the beautiful flowers in our window--it gave her great comfort & joy to awake to such a beautiful sight, for giving Heather photographs of nature which we spread about her room, thanks for the wonderful concert outside Heather's window, she so appreciated it, thanks for helping get Heather to the Botanic Gardens when she came home for hospice, thanks for coming to the funeral service in New Jersey and the Memorial in Brooklyn, thanks for speaking at theses two events, and thanks to those who wanted to speak but didn't & for those who sent me what you would have said, thanks for completing Heather's faerie art project for her, thanks for having a social visit with me away from the hospital, thanks for the whimsical postcards from Maine--Heather got a kick out of them, thanks for your wonderful cards & letters, thanks for telling me how Heather inspired and continues to inspire you. Special thanks to Heather's sisters Holly, Andrea and Lizzy, and her brother-in-law Jason, who gave so much time & love caring for Heather for which both Heather & I were and are extremely grateful--I really can't imagine having to go through this experience without you all--I'd call & you'd be there. And sometimes you'd just be there without my calling at all, right when I needed you. Thanks to everyone for anything and everything you did for us, whether I knew about it or not, whether I've mentioned it here or not, and thanks for being such an amazing circle of friendship and love.
Happy Thanksgiving.
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| Heather in Richmond, Virginia, at the Eastern Regional Synchronized Skating Competition, January 2010 (2 months before entering the 5-month hospital stay prior to her death, August 25, 2010) |
